Monday, September 22, 2008

Itsy Bitsy Spider

I have spiders. No, not me personally, but in my house. There is one in residence in just about every corner. My kids like to hunch down and yell "Spiiiiiideeerrrrr!" at the ones that live in the corners near the floor. I don't know, do spiders have ears? I'da moved out of that neighborhood pretty quickly so I am thinking they don't. I don't really like spiders. I don't want to touch them - thinking about getting rid of them with a tissue and feeling that horrid crunch is enough to send me into a willy dance. I mean, I know they are not likely going to be able to fight back and win, but it just gives me the creeps. There was one in residence in my bedroom, above the door frame to the outside that could flatten himself to fit behind the frame if I came over. Yet he was big enough that I could see him squatting there in all his black hairy glory from a prone position in bed. Ick. One day he was on the wall. I saw it as an opportunity to move him along elsewhere. So I came at him slowly with a glass and piece of stiff paper. That bugger squared off with me. In a wrestling stance with his front two legs off the wall in a ready position. I moved, he moved. He frickin' knew I was coming. Way too intelligent. Eventually I won and got him outside where I just left the glass over top. Just in case he could run fast too. I know there are two more in the bedroom. Talk about fung shui and a kink in my chi. I don't mind the other ones in the house so much because they aren't thick and squatty. They are more refined long legged spiders.
There are more outside. Obviously. They live in the evergreens in the front flower bed. I think they are solely responsible for the disappearance of the honeybees. The spider realtor sold them on some great property. The evergreens are next to some salvia which is still blooming its beautiful little purple blossoms which are just abuzz with all kinds of bees. Big fat fuzzy ones, honey bees and those not so nice looking bees. And there is just about two in the web every time I go by. It is close to where I load my son into his car seat. It is kind of a nice science experiment for my daughter - I tell her the spider is have a bee shake. Slurp! One of these misty mornings I will take a picture of the web - it is the classic spider web shape and really something beautiful when it is all sparkly with dew.
Back to the ones inside the house. The thing is... they are living here, making a killing off other insects I don't necessarily see. I wish they would do a better job on the fruit flies - I had some really ripe mango on the counter the other day. So I feel bad about getting rid of them. What if they are better guests than their food? In the meantime I will just deal with the two icky ones in my bedroom. And remind my husband again to install the door sweep to the outside door in our love nest.

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