Saturday, March 28, 2009

A New Superpower!

The morphing into motherhood from naive single gal (now I have two hearts that roam outside my body) obviously began during pregnancy. How else does one give birth to something bigger than a loaf of bread and weighs just under a gallon of milk? Then there is the ability of leap tall piles of laundry in a single bound, faster than a runaway shopping cart, to rescue your kid from scaling the kitchen cupboards - yes, I gave birth to Spidey Baby - he'll be friggin' awesome on the climbing walls. Add to that the two lives you live (the Clark Kent - Superman syndrome) where you are Wife and Mother. Maintain the world for everyone in the family (can't you just hear the little mice from Cinderella singing Cinderellie Cinderellie...). Also you must be able to help them find everything. My stepson has called me from the house, where he is... to ask me if I have seen his car keys - you know the ones he used to drive himself to an empty home with. And yes I have found them for him. I amaze my self. No need to thank me.... ...... ...... Still waiting to actually say that to him.
My latest superpower is evolving quickly. I have learned to become Invisible. The other day I woke up earlier than everyone else and I snuck stealthily into the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee that would actually stay warm throughout the entire sippage. I might have even rested my super self instead of tackling my nemesis May Tag. I got the teapot boiling and a cup ready while listening to the local news on TV. I was just waiting for the light to turn green on my espresso machine when my partner in grime stumbled into the kitchen.
He ground his beans and got his pot ready (french press) and used all the water in the tea kettle.

Then he walked away and changed the channel to his current love Hannity.

It was if I wasn't even there!

I looked down at myself - I could still see myself in my rumpled pj's and slippered feet but apparently he could not. I must be Invisible.

This power is occurring in my kids' vicinity as well. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to myself!

I tried to use it last night after my kid barfed up pickles and apple juice all over himself and the kitchen floor but to no avail.

I have yet to master timing for it but when I do....


Ravengirl said...

Oh my word! Do let me know when you harness that talent!

Shannon said...

When you've learned the secret of controlling it...please share with the rest of us super gals.