Thursday, October 15, 2009

Confessions of a (4 Year Old Mom, I mean Mom of a Four Year Old, oh dear... I am I rambling? What was I saying?

My dh says I am not the same person I was before I had kids. Ain't that the truth. I don't look the same, when we got married I was a size 4 and on a good day these days I am a size 12, not that size matters, unless it is your boobs or your butt or the nether regions in between. My ankles are the same, however my feet are not and I grieve the loss of my Cole Haan shoes, you know the ones I bought when I had a paying job. I don't talk the same - I never used to ask anyone, "Are you poopy?" And yes, I frequently bust out with some motherese to smooth a moment. But Holy Crapola do I mourn my memory or complete lack thereof. I don't remember jack spit... I don't even remember to write it down because I still believe that I can remember stuff, I have forgotten that I don't. Or is it do? I don't remember. I hate having conversations with people because I can't recall names very well and heavens it is like English is a foreign language because I almost never get through a sentence because I pause to find the right word. You know the one on the tip of your tongue.
I lost my purse the other day. I can't hardly miss it visually because I hang my keys from it and they are big and loud with all the keys on there. I nearly went on a rampage tearing my house apart looking for it, meanwhile my kids just sort of ignore like my dh does until I start muttering about how I can't find my purse. My daughter calls me a silly goose because

I AM WEARING IT. IT IS STRAPPED OVER MY BODY AND HANGING DOWN MY BACK. Makes you think twice about how much junk you got in your trunk.

I lost 15 minutes of my life looking for something hanging around my neck. Seriously. Am I nuts or what? How do I cure this? I know it is sleep related, I don't need some fancy shmancy researcher to tell me that; I sleep completely different now. I can hear if there is a change in my kids' breathing down the hallway. Someone farts and I am up. I hear the little one roll over and I am awake so that I can be there when he falls out of bed again. Ever vigilant. Sometimes I am up giving medicine and reapplying lotion for my little guy with food/environmental allergies and DH will never know that I have been up for half the night. There was an earthquake and it didn't even phase my dh, snoozing next to me in Lala Land. Must be nice. jerk
My life changed completely and his is still the same. I just don't get that.
I still can't find the kids' National Parks passports - I put them somewhere safe, so I didn't forget them when we went on our trip... in July. I have all these stamps to put in them. The kicker will be that when I finally do find the passports I won't remember where I put the stamps and stuff to put in them, I know it! Last night I had prints made at Costco to send to my parents & to give to MIL for her birthday. I picked them up this afternoon. Can I find them? NO! I have searched the house & my car to no avail. What could I have done with them? I have a vague notion of seeing the envelop after I tossed in the front seat, you know, so they would be out of harm's way. I remember this because my daughter wanted to look at them. We went to the grocery store, home and then the library. I might have carried it in the house, but probably put the envelop down without even giving it a second thought. I have no idea. Called the store and no one turned them in there. I have lost other things too. Like my wedding ring? Yeah, that was fun. I put it down in the same place every time so it is easy to find, except this time it was different. I tore everything apart, even the sink and went through all the garbage twice. I was frantic and had to confess to my dh about it and starting asking about the insurance policy on it. He decided to look for it, and came back with it 2 minutes later. I kept checking the wrong cupboard - you know the one where I DON'T put it. He looks at me like I have lost it. {sigh}

Yeah, I have.
So I will return to the website and reorder 2 more so I can fall asleep knowing that I have solved one portion of my problem. I just have to remember to pick them up tomorrow after work and not lose them. How hard can that be?

1 comment:

Ravengirl said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry! I know that panic of which you speak when you have lost something! I have had a couple episodes lately with my dh. He swears up and down that he told me something and I hard zero recollection of the conversation. I want to blame it on him because historically he just hasn't told me stuff or maybe he was talking to me while I was trying to do something else (like cooking)